Proud Geek

The Mercedes-Benz 2008 SLR McLaren Roadster sells for a cool $497,750. Positively cheap compared to that $1.4 million Lamborghini I previously blogged about.

Here’s what a half mil buys you:

• 617 hp @ 6,500 rpm (will someone tell me what that means?)
• Top speed of 206 mph (who-ah, that’s like breaking the law several times over!)
• Swing-wing door design (good for swingers out there)
• Fully retractable semi-automatic soft top (handy for lazy folks trying to look cool)
• Bi-xenon twin headlights (as if just being gay or straight isn’t enough)
• 7-speaker Bose sound system (making for more than 3 speakers per seat and a higher proportion of late-deafened Mercedes drivers)
• Flip-top start button (just don’t go crazy thinking it’s a missile launch thing)
• Carbon filter bucket leather seatings (oooh-la, what a feeling)

• 0-60 seconds in under 3.8 seconds (don’t you ever want to be first when the light turns green?)
• 6 airbags with 8-way protection (you can’t be too careful nowadays)
• Ultra-light, ultra-rigid carbon filter frame can absorb 4 times more energy than steel in the event of a crash (but still, ow, bye bye $500k)
• Intelligent design makes commanding control within easy reach (but I thought Intelligent Design was a cover story for teaching of biblical creationism in school)
• Dry-sump lubrication system allows for a low center of gravity (I’m sorry, maybe it’s me, but this sounds vaguely pornographic)

Honeybear, I want one. I don’t care how much it breaks our bank account, and I don’t care that there are no backseats for our young daughters (even though I know they’d LOVE this car).

I. Simply. Want. One.